What would you say to yourself, 5 years ago?
What would you say, without saying too much?
It gets better.
It gets worse.
It gets interesting – that’s when you know it’s got better again.
I had something of a moment on Monday at work; I’m happy.
Not because everything is as ‘should’ be, nor because I have experienced favourable outcomes or an absence of unfavourable outcomes.
(the fact I have been cranking Beyoncé for the last half hour while writing this is arbitrary, I swear…)
I’ve probably watched too many time travel shows to know what spoiling
the future can have. If faced with myself from five years ago (2010) – gosh – I’d tell her something like this:
Hope you’re enjoying Uni – it was the best decision you ever made changing from Journalism to International Relations. That was your first test in following your heart, and you will not regret it.
You’ve got a few more heartbreaks coming your way, girl. Sorry there’s not much you can do about it. It’ll take you a few years to really be able to love yourself, but you’ll be okay. You meet and date some lovely guys; you’ll learn some lessons. You’re made of tough stuff.
Stare at the night sky more, go for late
night drives, go to the Captain Stirling more often. Talk to a girl called Liana.
Believe it or not, seeing your car get a parking fine as you walk of Baskin and Robbins one night in the future will make you burst into tears (you were already in a fragile mood).
It won’t kill your love of ice-cream though, don’t worry.
Sooner than you think, you will travel overseas and you won’t ever be the same for it. You will fall madly in love with a country you haven’t given any thought to.
The first time you experience proper snow in Germany will be one of the saddest days of your life so far.
You fall in love with the United Kingdom. You make some amazing friends in England.
You qualify shortly after this, and no – you don’t stack it in your heels – let’s just say you haven’t outgrown Harry Potter…..
In contrast, your greatest and happiest revelation (to date) will come to you in a muddy field in France – and yes, there will be (happy) tears. After this particular year, this is the moment when you decide to dig your heels. You have no idea how brilliant you will become.
You qualify again – and you still don’t, to this day, understand fully how amazing that achievement is.
As everything does, you hair colour will change a few (dozen) times. Don’t cut your hair short again, please.
You will be an intern, you will work with some fantastic and not so fantastic people. You will have your hopes of a job crushed more than once and you will come home with wet shoes and sore feet more than once. You will quit and start again more than once – this is important for you…
….you get the job.
You get tattoos done. Mum hates them, but having them teaches you to own your decisions. You regret one, then you love it.
Your wardrobe will change, this will be the avenue of your social conscience soon. You meet an excellent girl called Sarah and you start op-shopping; you decide to fundraise. You keep the very first ‘clubbing’ dress you bought in 2009.
You stay sentimental.
You stay in touch with Ari and Han. You meet a friend who shares a birthday with you, and who makes you cry laughing every time you see him.
You start to understand your synergies with people.
Two friends have babies. Four couples you know get engaged/married. You scale a concrete fence in a full length dress, in the middle of Perth City to beat the bride to the church(!)
5 years doesn’t change much about you, honestly!
After all this time, you still dance to the Spice Girls.
You spend too much time thinking about the future, but that doesn’t matter because….
….you fly; way above your expectations, overseas, over your fears. You stop feeling embarrassed about your intelligence and ‘nerdy’ interests. You become nightmarishly good at banter, and a fearsome force at pub quizzes.
Look forward to everything!
I’m keen for the next 5 years.
One thought on “Five years”
Very touching post.